the mancub + our little lady

sun on the horizon

2009-06-17T20:58:00.003-06:00

forgive my absence, please. i've merely been obsessing over my children. child + ren = multiple kids. yes. that's us; now three. we're a wee clan at this point. (interjection: ben is working a lot, which keeps him at home. were he with us, our clan would be four. for now, 'tis we three.) we've stumbled into a routine when it comes to most daily activities. loading up into the car has it's traditions: mama carries baby, alasdair enters driver's seat with keys, door closes, alasdair inputs key into ignition while mama situates desmond, alasdair successfully inputs key and proceeds to climb into his carseat meanwhile minding not to hit sister's head on the way back, mama walks around car to alasdair's door to properly 'install' the child. both children in, mama situates herself and we're on the road. i've also figured out that leaving a door ajar, usually the front passenger door, can avoid potential panic when alasdair locks himself and sister in the car. yes, this happened. fortunately we have a hide-a-key. that's just loading up.

we have established routines for packing snacks + lunch + necessary items prior to loading up, dressing them both (and myself), unloading, shopping, eating. i like our routines. we're all aware of which "stage" we're at, how "far" we have to go. and now i know that empowering alasdair by allowing/encouraging him to get us started by putting the key in the ignition, which i do realize may not be the safest thing, makes him feel a part of it all, somehow enabling us to do anything. if that makes any sense. he digs it, and promptly gets in back without complaint. and i dig that.

alasdair will be two soon. too soon, quite possibly. and desmond, to be 7 weeks in a matter of days. the craziest part is that i look at her and think she can already eat "human" food. what?@! not for another 5+ months, i know, but after having a toddler around it feels like a babe grows so quickly.

news? of news. alasdair fell on monday. nasty zoo fall on the hard concrete. yep. i think i felt a higher degree of panic upon seeing his cut + cries than i did when i realized i was about to give birth in the truck. true story. i was terrified. all was fine and grand when alasdair ran up hill to touch a tree, and on the way back: BAM. more like 'thud,' i guess. forehead to concrete = bloody business and a crying boy. fortunately, crying, as opposed to passed out. the cut:

it was sad, sad. to say the least. and i managed, with two. yesSss... made it through the first of many...

aside from the 15+ days of continuous rain, life is good. grand. be it: wonderful. so long as the rain ceases and sun does shine as it so threatens, i believe we're in for a fantastic summer.

desmond

2009-05-19T17:54:00.001-06:00

the story

2009-05-05T14:29:00.005-06:00

I wish I were a writer. Fact is, I'm not. And, regretfully, I fear that I'm not going to do Desmond's birth story justice... please keep that in mind as you read on. It was truly amazing + spectacular + awesome + wonderful. It was perfect, as she is.

Desmond's "due" date was somewhere around the 23rd of April. She arrived on the 1st of May, just as my mother, whom we call "HoneY", suspected she would. Much faster than I anticipated, too. At 9:45 the surges began. Ten minutes apart and super mild. I bathed + continued to finish a movie with Alasdair and Ben. I was even able to sleep through the 'breaks' and breath through the surges until nausea set in around 11:45. Around that time I did a lot of pacing, and attempted to sleep for short periods during breaks, which were now about 8 minutes apart. Sometime around 1:45 everything shifted gears. Surges became 2-3 minutes apart, and they came on strong. I told Ben to pack it up and call Vanessa to stay with Alasdair. Vanessa lives about 20 minutes away, via snowmobile. Fortunately we had great weather, so we didn't have that to worry about. Snow was in flurries outside. Just right. When Vanessa arrived, Ben gathered some last minute 'stuff' recommended by the doula: two towels, which were key.

The snowmobile ride to the car, which is only a little over a mile, was actually quite heavenly. The continuous bumps eased the surges. I recommend riding a snowmobile while in labor---late stages of labor, as it were, in fact.

We reached the truck at 2:55 am. I remember asking Ben to tell me I could "do this." I was certain that labor was really just gearing up and that we had a good three-four hours to go. Not so.

About 3 miles into our ride down to Salt Lake, which is 35 miles from home, the surges began to dissipate and they were replaced by a familiar pressure. Down low. Uh-oh. Any mother knows that pressure, followed by "the urge... to push." While relieved that the surges were over, I knew that pressure meant pushing and that meant baby... soon. I attempted to get my sorrels off. I got the left sorrel off. Only two layers of pants to go if I didn't want to birth my baby into my pants. Gross.

I told Ben. He told the doula. Doula said call the midwife back and report. We did. And he drove fast. fast. Not long after, my water exploded. I was stoked to have felt that---I wanted to feel it with Alasdair, no go. I longed to experience it with Desmond, rewarded! Crazy gush so it was.

Ben was on the phone with the midwife when my water broke. She told him to "put on your hazards and drive like hell." I reached down, expecting to feel a bulge. To feel her head. Nothing, yet.

I scrambled to kick my left leg out of two layers. Success.

"She's coming, babe. I think her head's coming out."

"Do we need to pull over?"

"I don't know."

I felt again. That time I felt Desmond. Her head. Before asking again, Ben pulled off into the Jeremy Ranch exit. Side of the road. Into the dirt.

By the time he put that bad boy Chevy in park, jumped out and reached my door, he saw that Desmond's head was out.

And my door was locked. Whip.
I knew it, and unlocked it just as Ben reached in to deliver our little lady before she hit the floor.

It was 3:24 am. A short 30 minutes after we had reached the truck. An even shorter two hours of true, active labor.

Holy.

Immediately, I got turned around, watching for the umbillical cord, and pulled her to my chest, wrapping her in the two towels. She cried. Ben jumped back in the driver seat and picked up the phone to greet the midwife who'd remained on the phone the whole time.

"I heard her cry. Wonderful. Now hang up, call 911, and I'll see you at the hospital."

We sat in silence for a few seconds.

"Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. Did we really just have our baby? Right here? In the truck?"

Ben called 911. Drove to the gas station. Ambulance arrived, took Desmond and I on the gurny... all was good. All was perfect, actually. So perfect that it only took Ben three baby wipes to clean up the mess in the truck.

Desmond was perfectly healthy. Just a bit cold, which was easily remedied.

7lbs 10oz. 19.5 inches. Bits of dark hair. Lovely almond eyes. Sweet olive skin.
Sleepy, sleepy lady so she is.

We spent a night in the hospital, arriving back home Saturday afternoon.

That is her story. Born in a Chevy 2500 on the side of the highway.

desmond jane mclenna

2009-05-03T14:56:00.001-06:00

... her story is coming soon. 'tis a good one, too.

cozy she must be

2009-04-28T11:28:00.004-06:00

i think i'm what they call a "42 weeker." or less, with her, i hope.
soon. soOn. very soon. maybe tomorrow to coincide with my date of birth, the 29th. i would love that. 4.29.09. yes. i like.
a few photos:
alasdair + papa playing their 'heE-tars'

alasdair sporting little lady's lovely new hat, made by our good friend jamie.

ben + i enjoyed a lovely, and much needed, date night last friday while rye rye and birdy (sariah + dana) were in town. thank you, sisters. we were able to enjoy TWO AND A HALF hours of sushi dinner. so nice.

an update, of sorts

2009-04-23T18:36:00.000-06:00

no lady, yet... and to be honest, I think we're in for another week :)

staying positive.

trying. to. stay. positive.

keep the goodness + baby vibes coming! hope to post photos of our sweet lady soon. soon.
soon enough, it will be.

ode, to be a lady

2009-04-16T17:12:00.002-06:00

In the first months of pregnancy I claimed a late April, early May due date. As more and more time passed, it became the 29th of April... the 24th... now, the 21st. The "official" "due" date. Why, why do I do that to myself, knowing well that the likelihood of her kicking it for an extra 10 days past the "due" date is probable. Well, I did do it. I am doing it. The whole "I'm due in 5 days" bit has got me thinking and hoping she could choose to come any day now.
I guess I don't quite recall the 15 days of waiting for Alasdair. Past his "due" date.
I write this to say to all of you lovely people reading this: please send energies and goodness to the wee lady, will her decent + welcome her smile on the 22nd, if she would so comply. Earth Day. Would be dreamy.
Whenever she chooses will be grand, of course.
It's amazing how much I feel like I've forgotten, or chosen to stash away in piles of memories, regarding the world of having a new baby. The late, nay--early---nights. The all-nighters. The helplessness of a teeny human being. The beauty of that helplessness. The painful nipples and aching back. The minutes turned to hours spent staring at your new babe when you should be sleeping. Identifying every finger and nail and hair and inch of your babe's body. Counting toes. Fingers. Almost watching as their eyelashes grow.
I am so eager to meet this sweet being of a lady. So eager to watch her and Alasdair interact.
And, to realize how Alasdair's world is about to change so dramatically is wild. Never again will he be the only baby. Just as special and lovely, yes, but never again the only one. He is feeling change. He is acting out---waking up at all hours of the night, for hours in the night. Sweet as pie during the day. Channeling sister's wakeful nights, I think---prepping us. I love to think of their communication, he and the lady. I imagine their eyes locking upon first meet outside--in this world. Eager for that.
Saw the midwife today, and the chiropracter---whom I've been seeing weekly for about a month now, a few times prior to that, too. I imagine I will see them both again in a week....
but.
We're still under snow. In a lot more since Tuesday/Wednesday's craziness of a snow storm. Three+ feet of heavy snow made for 8 feet of drifts over the road, which made for road closures. Literally snowed in yesterday. No work, sorry---it's late April and I can't get to town. Nice to be forced to don the comfy pants and do some screening instead. Made for a lovely day at home with the boys.
Well, I hope next time I post.... no, I'll say this: I know that next time I post I'll be closer to meeting this sweetness--and possibly posting photos. The sun is due---ah, the "due" word again---to shine come Saturday. and to shine shine shine. Along with my babe. A welcoming.

'tis true

2009-03-31T20:59:00.000-06:00

TWENTY-ONE days!!!! what?!

funny man..

2009-03-28T08:52:00.003-06:00

alasdair cracks me up. not daily. not hourly. i'm talking minute to minute. his words are turning into flows of gibberish, which often produce strings of 'normal' sounding phrases. so wild to watch as his language develops, so interesting to hear which words he chooses to incorporate in his explanations + observations of the world.
we recently purchased him a bed. a twin, which is sweet because ben +/or myself can climb in bed with him during the transition. (way to wait until the last minute...) see photos below. when he's old enough to rock the top bunk, we'll flip the frame upside down to create a bed up top, fort below. imagine it. good times for little people. and me.
we've also---no, my ridiculously generous + lovely pc friends + mama---purchased a much desired baby hammock for the little lady. those photos will be posted later today when we hang that bad boy. you can check it out at: www.kanoe.us
the bed.

we call this one 'sitting horse.' he's into riding his animals :)

the styled 'cicle-cyle' ride around the house.

smiley self, per usual.

mama + the babes.

alasdair + brynn rock, rockin' it.

brevity

2009-03-03T07:14:00.007-07:00

hi. photos will have to tell a bit of the story once again because i have little time to pack and only minutes to post. last tuesday we returned from our 12-day adventure to the south (east). we arrived in nashville, stayed 5 days, drove east to charlotte, passing through asheville (which i would move to in a matter of days were it out west), stayed 5 days, back to nashville and then home. today we are headed down south for ben's water conference. let's hope for warm(er) weather :)
we are all doing well + wonderful. alasdair is a riot... as photos project. and this little lady is growing, growing, which also means her kicks and jolts have much more 'gusto' --- night-waking for mama, already. so soon and we'll meet her. i need to prepare.

flyer, of the day

2009-01-27T20:44:00.004-07:00

Visit us at: inkpony.com and at inkpony.blogspot.com

solo shoot

2009-01-27T08:44:00.001-07:00

this boy knows how to ride.

EIGHTY-FIVE DAYS...

2009-01-26T08:42:00.002-07:00

are you kidding me?! wow. 85 days (or possibly 100 if she's anything like alasdair) until we meet this sweet little low-kicking lady. that's wild and exciting... so so exciting. It's time for another little baby in this house. I'm almost starting to understand the dozen-kid bit. I imagine that it's easy to keep wanting to have babies... sweet, little babies. The enjoyment of a child is indescribable. BUT, BUT... that said, I think we'll stick to two :)
Remember the dress I posted a while back? When we found out she is a girl? Bought it... yessSS.ss.s.... well, requested it in a size 2T, first (I can't wait until she fits a 4T to see that goodness on her). I've also been washing/arranging her clothes. Her wardrobe is already larger than mine, thanks to generous friends, sisters and a particularly excited grandmother (thanks, marci). Yes, 85 days. or less. or more.

Family news...
alasdair: is officially a toddler. I know, I know, I was told it would happen. just didn't realize how abruptly. He repeats any and every word and would almost prefer playing with friends as opposed to mama + papa. Almost. Sleeping like a champ, finally. Eating when he's hungry, as you do. and crying, screaming, whailing when he can't go outside and play in the snow for hours on end. He loves the snow... "N-ho!!"

ju + ben: (and alasdair) we're off to nashville in a couple of weeks. Headed over on the 12th to visit Ben's mama, then in the car, up and over, to see my mama. I'm so psyched. so so so psyched.

inkpony: is progressing! We've just put our first "batch" of stuff into a local store... Paisley Pomegranate (located near the junction, in Redstone). It's kind of a catch-all shop---cool, unique stuff ranging from lamps to baby clothes. My understanding is that it's one of the only places in town to pick up stylish baby gifts, so I hope we do well. We'll see. I've started an inkpony blog, which we'll try to update at least once a week, at: inkpony.wordpress.com
check us out, add us to your links, follow us... please :)
I hope to update the site with great Etsy finds, information, ideas... random goodness (all of the things this blog would be were I to focus on anything aside from alasdair).

ju: is going to work! yep, 85 days prior to the birth of the little lady, I've decided to work a bit at a local children's boutique: Baby Nee Nee. The owner is super young, energetic, cool, interesting... and the shop is in a great location, pretty mellow. I always head in there for gifts (they carry all of the Plan Toys toys + Melissa and Dough + other eco-friendly, fairly-priced stuff). I went in the other day and she approached me... I was flattered. Talked to Ben. Decided to give it a shot.

snow: is on the horizon, and we need it. The difference between this year and last is crazy. Bluebird days by the dozen, whereas last year we were hunkered down in the storms for a period of months. Nice change, but needing snow... at least we got a couple feet in the last couple of days. I love seeing the white.

inkpony photo shoot

2009-01-22T15:15:00.003-07:00

yep... pretty cute. featuring: alasdair (18m) + ajna (12m)... little lovers, best friends, and kind enough to pose (even j.crew style in the first photo) for us.

it was on a whim, so the background isn't the most ideal... however, we couldn't resist the shots we did get.

filling you in...

2009-01-08T14:47:00.002-07:00

on the world of etsy. e-t-s-y. all things handmade. visit the site and you'll find unique, original goods made by people from all across the world. below is a small collection of things I've deemed "favorites."

photo post

2009-01-04T09:12:00.005-07:00

night night. he says.
big news in the snowmobiling world: alasdair now rides up front when the weather is nice. so much fun, and much easier, too---especially with the growing belly.
a mini uncle jonas.
loving the camelback. tsss.
goggles. one of his other favorite things.
alasdair and josie---dooley's niece, visiting over the holidays. osha had someone to kiss for new year's. and he did. just strolling in the boots...
lucky (mark) and birdy (dana) gifted alasdair this sweet trike for christmas. this is his first run... just need to add one more block.
and this is the mounting process.
almost to the seat
osha's new legs, which you all know i dig---we made him some last year, too. i bought these from a fellow etsian: mamarunswithscissors (if you search under usernames on etsy, you'll find her---ridiculously cute stuff).

holidays, days of holy sickies

2008-12-30T13:57:00.004-07:00

unfortunately, both alasdair and myself weren't feeling super hot over christmas. bummer. the fortunate part: we were alone. yet, another bummer.
HEY! really, i don't mean to exude such a downer mode---it was great, actually, and oh so so so snowy. christmas day we had plans to meet up with friends, eat, be merry, all that. our plans were smothered due to 32 inches. of. snow. falling down. on the ground. outside.
and wind. a lot of wind. road closures and stuck plows made for a lovely day indoors. instead of dealing with the storm, we pulled out the trusty 'ol couch bed in the living room and kicked it, family style.
a photo:

and, photos of alasdair opening some gifts... eying gifts.... fixing gifts... creating more gifts.

the gift that we've been most excited about giving him was a flop. he's terrified of it. brobee is a no go, not even yet. there's a show on noggin called 'yo gabba gabba.' it rocks. really---yes, there are some funky looking characters (some may even say a tad bit like telle tubbies)... but they're nothing like those creepy tellies. these guys actually speak. they enunciate. no baby business. and, most importantly, it's all about music. they always sing and have artists on the show to dance, etc. it's great. there's a character named brobee. the partier. so, we got alasdair a mini-brobree. about a foot tall. and when you press a button on his foot, he flails his arms and sings and all that.
well, as i said: horrified. terrified. poor guy. he looks at brobee, then at me and says "no, no, no... hold'choo," which means 'hold me.'
oh well. here he is... the show down.

osha has been doing this for a while now---"i can't hear you." that whole deal. so, when he does it we fake talk, then start talking when he pulls his hands down. so funny. in the car the other day i knew he was doing it, so i said "osh, can you hear me?" immediately he said "no." silly boy.

and there i am (desperately tired and), packing on 'dem "ell bees"... now's the time, if ever :)
so, without much detail, that was our christmas. spent together. it was wonderful.

our new, most exciting news: WE'RE OFF TO NASHVILLE AND CHARLOTTE come february. for a visit. a mama visit---12 days split between ben's mama and mine. ah, so happy.

the good times

2008-12-15T20:30:00.005-07:00

it's things like this that make my day.
wandering around the corner, into the kitchen, to find evidence of alasdair's latest "project."
so cute. I'm sure he was sooooo excited about it, too.

grapes in the bowl, transferred to a mini-bowl, and back.

had to...

2008-12-13T19:02:00.002-07:00

in case you didn't know what santa looked like as a baby (at 10 weeks, to be exact):

lately

2008-12-11T07:32:00.003-07:00

lately,
inkpony is progressing, making sales, growing
snow is in flurries while we sit back and wish for feet
alasdair is copying, even words from the radio
...and expressing interest in going 'pee-pee'
the little lady is growing and expanding my ligaments, causing some pain
koia is basking in the snow's cold nature
morley is merely standing beside her
red is loving a new life indoors

and, ben and I, we are happily once again enjoying (almost) a full night's sleep

yes, after 17 months, alasdair has finally decided that sleeping through the night is beneficial for us all. some said it would take time. it has, it did, and the memories of sleepless nights are blurry now---thank you, little man. sleeping through the night also indicates a major drop in nursing, which rocks because these days it's more of a joke than anything, anyway. we're down to about one nursing 'session' a day--in the evening, in the bed. it's been a vvVerrrRRy gradual transition.

I never reported that when we had the ultrasound all was quite well with the girl. she's developing, as they do, and the doc there said that we're "officially" due on the 21st of april... as opposed to my "self-diagnosed" date of april 29. like the 9s, you know. so, that puts us around the 24th, again. I wouldn't go for any earilier, as alasdair was 15 days late and that wait was almost painful. just cause I was so eager.

well, the boy woke up a while ago---time to get. get on now, get. to the making of breakfast I go.
some photos... she and he. aye, a scratch, though not from a dog---thank goodness. they'd be out in the snow for good.
20 weeks.

very exciting!!!

2008-12-02T14:31:00.004-07:00

we were "featured" on an "Etsy Item of the Day" blog...
check it out: http://etsyitemoftheday.com/airplane-onesie/

already prepping the wardrobe...

2008-12-02T07:48:00.002-07:00

tights, dresses + little tomboyish goods it is, cause a little lady is on the way!!!

come on...

2008-12-01T07:41:00.003-07:00

if this doesn't make me eager to have another baby, I really don't know what else would...
chunky mcChunk at 4 1/2 months.

trying not to.

2008-11-30T17:04:00.006-07:00

that's what today is about. trying not to count down the hours....
right now we're nearing 21.
ah! doing it.

yes, folks, a mere TWENTY ONE hours until we find out if I'll be busting out the sewing machine for sun-dresses, or rummaging through alasdair's trucks and tools in search of boyish baby goods.
21 hours and we will know. boy? girl? what do yoU say? post your guesses, your guts, please.
I'm interested. in the beginning I hoped, dreamed, plead for a girl. now I find myself doing the same for a boy. brothers--can't get much better than that. then again, I'm the fortunate sister and other half of one of the greatest friendships of all time: jonas and myself.
whatever you are, little, active bean... I can hardly wait.

happy belated day of turkeys and feasts to all. we celebrated twice this year. how fortunate. once with the osterhouts and another 20. it was glorious. so much food. so much fun. we arrived around 4 and alasdair partied well into the night---passing out as soon as he hit the car seat around midnight. sweet thing. he was all love and smiles. photos from that event:
ajna + alasdair, lovers.
ajna + papa luke.
aunt sabre, osha and papa.
osha + luke, or--as he says, "hook."

that was saturday past. the 22nd. following that feast, we recovered, then did it all over again on thanksgiving. mmmmm. the line-up: a TWENTY pound turkey (for ben, myself, alasdair... erica, luke, ajna... and luke's brother, paul. that's SIX adults, TWENTY pounds of turkey. want to know the truth? it's almost gone. gross.), southern cornbread stuffing, green bean casserole, rolls, sage-infused mashed potatoes, TWO pumpkin pies (plus a mini, for ben) and a cherry pie. we even forgot to make the ham. good thing. wow. a feast it was. good times. we ate at four. and ate again later. and again. and a big 'ol breakfast pie in the morning. yum.
photos from that night...
ben, osha + ajna.
the playing of la musica.
ajna, in all her sweetness. she's alasdair's lover-girl. he likes the young ones. she's now 10 months and an absolute doll. he calls for her, "ah-na, ah-na."
yep. he took the king's seat. all night.
the family, of sorts: luke, ajna, erica and alasdair.
and, the 'other family'... osha, papa, ajna and myself.
the red-eye osh.
um. sorry to almost end on this one. I think erica asked us to "look hard." hmmm... appears only ben got that one.
brothers: luke and paul. the band: castor and pollution. their t-shirts are results of my screenprinting venture for the day. a design burnt + printed for them to sell at shows.

we were without immediate family. always wish family were around. but it was great, regardless.

doing it, again

2008-11-22T10:42:00.001-07:00

cause we've posted a lot more... with a lot, lot more to come.

www.inkpony.etsy.com

2008-11-10T15:14:00.003-07:00

shameless, i know

2008-11-02T14:26:00.004-07:00

WE MADE OUR FIRST SALE!!!
on etsy. to a "real" customer... not family-based.
i know how silly that may sound, but it's a huge deal to me. a really big deal. especially because we've been busy and have only been able to post five items (now down to 4!).

anyway. hooray. and, because we just got in the sweetest organic toddler tees i've ever felt/seen/touched/loved-on, i'm self-promoting, yet again.

with photos posted here, so you don't even have to navigate through the etsy site.
some of our offerings: (all $15)

just in time...
erica (an inkpony, too) just sent out this email and i think it describes our business venture really well.

here 'tis:

Hello to all of you,

Inkpony is here! For those of you not familiar with Inkpony let me catch you up to speed...

Inkpony began as a little seed...a spark really...a seemingly far away idea...and has finally grown into fruition as a little company. It is piloted by 3 women (myself, julianna, and anne) seperated by 1000 miles. We have managed to bridge the gap between ourselves using internet, snail mail, and a little creativity, and bring you our unique product. Our goal is to be as friendly to the earth as possible so that you can feel good about what you're buying and so that we as a company can feel good about our environmental footprint.

Right now we are screenprinting 100% cotton onesies and toddler t-shirts. The fabric is organically dyed, and our screen printing inks are non-toxic and lead free. Every 'piece' is unique...we have not made any 2 the same. We make our own screens using scrap material, recycled picture frames, and remnant cloth, and we produce all of our own designs. We will soon be adding screenprinted(on recycled paper) cards/invitations, rag quilts and bags, plush dolls and maternity wear.

Our official website (www.inkpony.com) is under construction so please refer to our etsy site for the time being at www.inkpony.etsy.com and you can view and purchase from there. We love custom orders so please let us know if you have a specific request.

Up to this point we have been mostly word of mouth...we have just begun with this site and are in the midst of production of new images so be patient with us as we post our items. Remember...every item is completely original when it comes to clothing color, design, and design color. You will see some similar pieces, but no 2 are exactly the same. We hope you will check in with us for purchases for 'little ones' and check back w/ us as the holiday season approaches for our new website and new items.

Much love to all of you,

Erica

... and, much love to all of you, too. ju.

booty giraffe

2008-11-02T10:01:00.005-07:00

halloween rocks. my favorite holiday, though---admittedly---i've slacked in the past couple of years. lame costumes. no candy. little celebration. oh well.
having a child is the best excuse/reason to get back into it. this year we spent the day on main street. every year they shut down main and everyone comes out in costume---kids everywhere---dogs everywhere--costumed adults, everywhere. all of the shops pass out candy. good times. this year alasdair was a giraffe. a big-bootied + bellied giraffe at that. so cute.
as for ben and i, we weren't so cute. necessarily.
in fact, i'm not so sure what we were. but, at least we gave the dressing up bit a shot. shabby as it was.

in pregnancy days: this pregnancy remains surreal.
i thought it was setting in. it was setting in--during the days of nausea and discomfort. but the constant reminder leaves me now that i'm feeling near great again. (still tired, though that's part of me, anyway.) so eager to see this babe and alasdair interact. so eager to see this babe at all. to know if it's a boy or girl---THREE weeks!!!

cousins + animals

2008-10-31T08:45:00.006-06:00

as posted, ben, alasdair and i recently spent about 5 days in boise. good days. really good days. no rush. lots of dawson's. excellent food. and the stellar company of family.
as imagined, stella is getting soooo big. she's caught up with alasdair in weight and quickly gaining in height, too. i wish we get could them together daily. check out their photos:

this one merits comment: titled, "high school dance"
stella is a mover. a hip-circler, booty dropper. and aside her stands my sweetness. arms directed down, moving stiffly side to side. i thought i'd taken video of it, but somehow: no. bummer.

and, a recent video. he was actually testing my skills to see how quickly i could come up with animals... i failed.

breaking news...

2008-10-20T08:41:00.002-06:00

that we've been holding back for a good two months (as not to spoil the seeing + telling people 'in person' bit):
i'm pregnant!!!
there you have it. about 13 weeks along, and sososo psyched i can hardly stand myself.
all very exciting, indeed.
steph + dave, i've been most eager to share the news with you two, even though our babes will be a bit further apart this time.

yay. pregnant.
alasdair already touches my protruding belly (yes, even looking pregnant at 13 weeks) and says "bah-bee."
they'll be 22 months apart. just right. that's how things seem to happen lately, just right.

alright, five days

2008-10-11T16:13:00.002-06:00

busted. i committed to the 'three-day-posting-gig' a little prematurely. so, here's my bit at five days. better than 30.
it's snowing today. lovely and beautiful. news of us: we're all sick. whip. crazy how quickly sickness tears through a family of three. alasdair on day one, papa nearing the end of day one and mama on day two. fortunately, i think we're all winding down. seeing alasdair sick makes me so sad, as any mother and/or father knows. it's terrible. and the night-time fever. the heat glow around their poor little body.
he sleeps now. sweet thing.
and, of course, along with fever comes the dazey state. alasdair, so kooky. he mumbles, which isn't uncommon, but moreso. he wanders and smiles and calls out for koia and red, the cat. he woke this morning to the sound of my stomach digesting. it must have sounded like a meow, cause immediately he sat up and said, "red. killy--kitly---killy." tongue protruding. so cute.
we got a new truck!!!! a new work truck, i should say. ben's been driving around an old-school duely for the past year. terribly sketchy. so much money has gone into that truck... for what? anyway, it was past due time for the caketaker, ben, to get a new ride. they made one stop and ended up with a 2008 chevy silverado extended cab long-bed. white. amazing deal: from $33,000 to $23,0000.
think they were hurting? geeze.
it's so nice to have a truck we can all ride in.

... off to boise next week. wednesday or thursday. i can hardly wait.

snow, on the ground

2008-10-05T07:45:00.006-06:00

not much, granted, but it is certainly white outside. and lovely. i can't believe those 7 months of snowmobiling blumbers and bliss are once again knocking on our door. always seems to arrive just in time. the cold creeps in just as the heat starts to wear on me. nicely done, weather, seasons... nicely done.

well, i've been busy. hence, no writing---a bad blogger am i. apologies. i swear, it's the thought of writing it all down in one sitting that keeps me away (I SAY THIS EVERYTIME). so, from here on out i'll write something, even a sentence, at least every three days. there. done. hold me to it, please.

our updates: many, but i'll list the few. first, a shameless plug: check out that new wolf-man square that reads "etsy" to your right there. yeah. if you click on that, you'll end up at a fabulous site of all things handmade from people across the world. fair prices (usually) and really unique stuff. a friend and i are trying our hands at it. once on the site, look at the scroll-bar up top, click on "usernames" and then enter: inkpony---that's us. though currently we have only three items listed, and all onesies, we're eager to add new stuff. we're attempting to keep all clothing organic, and all other products (rag-quilt blankets, plush dolls/hammers/tools, cards, etc.) eco-conscious (remnant and or recycled material when possible). we'll add stuff soon and frequently.
check it out.

now, for alasdair. the love that we love. i swear he's coming up on six here soon. ha.
no, it's just crazy how much these little people learn during their second year. words, everyday a new word, or so it seems. gestures. identifying and categorizing. learning how to crawl into small spaces. humor.
ah.... and it must be said, learning how to deal with his impatience. HOLY. i think he got that from me. for instance: he's on his john deere (little pushy toy), cruising around, through the kitchen, next to the couch and then i hear screaming. then the slamming of something somewhat large. i look: it's the john deere, as he's attempting for forcefully push it through a space that is far too narrow.
he'll force it though. and scream.

wow. he gets pissed. immediately. so, we're working on the phrase "help, please." it has definitely helped. that way, when he's really upset that something won't budge (a cord he wants may be wrapped around the chair and caught on a toy-----yes, i just admitted that i let him play with cords), he'll shout, i'll appear and he calms and says "elp."
much nicer.

growing, growing up--all except for the nursing, we've back-tracked. he's once again up to eating 6 times a night. WHIP. molars, baby. they're killing me.

here's the boy now: smiley + sneaky.

ben and i are great. the season (girl scouts) is finally over. we thought we'd be celebrating those words about a month and a half ago, but weekend guests and events kept slugging in. it's over now. i can say with confidence. so, i have ben at home once again. he's going to take on building/creating/designing our website, for practice during the winter season.

off to boise here in a few weeks, and i can hardly wait. truly. i feel like i've been away from home, home and family for a year.
maybe because i miss my mom so much. wow. she's been away for 1/3 of her mission. 6 months. already, i should say. we just need to get out there. charlotte, north carolina: we'll see you soon.

enjoy your day(s).

playing catch-up

2008-08-20T11:47:00.002-06:00

wow. it's been a while. whiles of words and developments well beyond my expectations. alasdair's language + vocabulary is blowing up, as they say. and i'm discounting the fact that most of his words are only understood by ben and i---they are words, still. for example, this morning when he woke up he played, got of the bed and pointed to the bedside table... "wah-ta." so i offered him a sip. he nodded his head and smiled. a 'no, thank you' in his way. there are lots of words that he repeats consistently: bird, dog, book, water, koia (our new dog), danger, thank you. his newest: bear. it's amazing to watch him communicate---and especially amazing to communicate with him, with words. utterances. body language.
all of this new communication is coming at a much needed time, too. we are weaning. he is weaning. i am weaning. not sure how you say it, we, i suppose. i think he's ready, and i'm definitely ready. so, about five days ago i began a process of offering more solids, in place of nursing times. whereas i used to nurse first, then offer food, it's now going the other way---and he's great. he only really begs for 'mee-mee' when he's tired, though i'm doing my best to offer different sleep associations. it worked great for nap about 20 minutes ago! also, we're night-weaning, which has been a much smoother transition that i anticipated. it's crazy to think that we tried the same night-weaning method when he was 11 months, and it was unbearable. now, at 14 (nearly) months, things are so different. i'm happy that we paid close attention to his cues and waited until now.
hmmmm... so much has happened around here. ben has screened in half of the front porch. it looks amazing, and we can now utilize that space like it's another room. he sealed every bit of it, keeping the bugs out. it gets a nice breeze. rugs are down, alasdair's toys are out there. it's lovely. we eat meals outside now.
we've also painted two out of the four white rooms. the bathroom, mustard yellow, and alasdair's room, olive green. onto our room next: burnt orange, then the hallway: yet to be decided.
........
........

the first silk screen

2008-07-19T16:19:00.005-06:00

i've been wanting to learn how to silk screen for some time now. well, camp has finally provided an ideal opportunity. here's the first... of many, i hope.

birds, worn by my lovely model, alasdair:

her name...

2008-07-12T01:43:00.004-06:00

is: sekoia.
i call her koia.
a love, she is.
here are she and ben on her first day home. i told you he fell in love... immediately, as did she.

that's a good girl, girl

2008-07-07T08:44:00.003-06:00

... crazy. wild. crazy. twas yesterday. and, in the end, alasdair and I (yes, he was an accomplice), brought home a very lovely lady friend---a sister for morley, puppy for alasdair, white love for ben and good friend of mine. we have yet to name her, though we're searching, so if you're inspired--let us know. she is a great pyrenees, 2 years old, rescued from the pound.
the "crazy" story, in short:
(phase one) a and I went down the the pc market yesterday. while cruising the streets, I saw many many dogs, but one dog caught my eye. beautiful. brindled. big. after three attempts to let his owners know how wonderful I thought he was, I tried once more. "I really like your dog." the guy turned, caught that I was talking to them, finally. we chatted about the breed (pyrenees, something and golden retriever mix). of course his name was marley (our sweet boy of many years is morley). I loved him so because I know how ben adored his old dog, pushkin, and I've been slowly searching for another dog that somewhat resembles push. anyway. after some talk, I asked where I might find a dog just like that. turns out that the owner works at the pound, and though there wasn't a 'marley' there, there was a beautiful white great pyrenees, whom she had named summer.
(phase two) a lady at a booth was selling beautiful, artistic, great photo frames. I ogled over them for a bit, then realized the friend I was with is friends of the artist---a girl whom I had met at the fourth of july celebration. a girl by the name of summer. turns out that summer cannot meet the demand from retailers + others wanting to buy her frames. I asked to work with her. she told me to email. could blossom into something great. remember, her name is summer.
... the great pyrenees (was) summer, too.
(phase three) and not a very important phase, but worth mentioning: twice, later in the day, puppies were passing. they stopped nearby and I commented. both were from the pound in pc (furburbia, where our girl is from), adopted this past week. I had only heard of this 'furburbia' place one time prior to yesterday... and suddenly, everyone was all about furburbia.
(phase four, finale) after the market I decided to go and visit great white summer. ben wasn't able to join us. a and I went. she was beautiful and calm. so calm. and sweet with alasdair, and while we were visiting in the dog room it occurred to me that the night previous I had a dream about valcor---from neverending story. valcor was so huge and walking along a path, near water, in the distance. that was it. she was coming home.
and she did.
without ben knowing.

... and, he is in love. as we all are.

photos from the beginning

2008-07-04T08:19:00.004-06:00

alasdair, my pie. it feels like yesterday that you were nestled on my chest, curled and content as we slept in spurts. fortunately you still like to sleep close. I remember the near terror as we walked out of the birthing center, waved a hand goodbye to teresa, placed you in the back seat... only hours after your transition out of your water world and into our arms. a week of elated bliss ensued, then followed by a dramatic drop in confidence. but we made it through and through and through. survived with family and hikes and the like. today you're more inquisitive than before, an observationalist, a social butterfly, a sharing wee one---many things, developing only more and more. i love you, sweet man. we love you.

I had to 're-cap'...
look at that little monkey. only an hour old, and growing.

the first camping trip + hike at 6 weeks in Stanley, Idaho. Fortunately we ran into a friend of Ben's who was caretaking some property and so we were able to stay in a cabin. turns out we were ill-equipped for a night of camping with a 6-week-old in cold weather.

our mini santa. the morning of departure from boise, headed to our new home in park city to live at camp. he was two months here, and loving life.

a stoked mini at 5 1/2 months. too much. one of my favorite photos. the christmas card.

pretty frightening of mama, but so cute of the wee one.

bathtime. alasdair's favorite time.. aside from what's below.

... good papa lovin. so sweet.

and gearing up for a sledding adventure in may.

which brings us back around to date... and his sweetness, at a year old. crazy. so happy. almost too damn cute.

refreshed

2008-07-04T07:15:00.003-06:00

four nights ago, Ben and I decided to 'activate' a new sleeping method... no night-time nursing. we were nervous. a bit. well, it has gone over brilliantly. last night was the fourth night and I'll say this: I was up at 6 am this morning simply because I got almost a full six-hour stretch. incredible! on top of Alasdair adjusting really well to it, Ben suggested that I sleep in the other room for the past two nights so that the boy wouldn't smell me and fight for comfort food. ah... what a lovely man I have. hopefully we'll continue on this track and all get back to a full eight hours at some point.
as I write this, he awakes. as said, I am refreshed.
happy fourth.

photo party.

2008-06-30T08:23:00.004-06:00

oh, my... alasdair is ONE and many days. holy. crazy. it's been a week of reminiscing for sure. we threw a party for him last sunday, two days before the actual big day. lots of friends and babies were over and I failed to take photos. what? yes, I know. so I'm depending on those lovely friends to send photos and when they do, I'll post them. today's 'photo party' starts with some shots taken by uncle jason and cousin madailein in boise. a alone and with stella... so sweet. the crying bit: at the birthday party. worn out. but then the cake came and he perked up enough to snack. i waited and waited on the cake in the face shot, but he failed to deliver... so picky and particular with each bite. a quality he must have taken from his father. uncle jason and aunt jeri sent him a killer radio flyer for his birthday. as soon as i put it together... well, just look at the photos. STOKED! so cute.

almost

2008-06-01T10:21:00.001-06:00

it's official: no more snowmobiling until next winter's fallen snow. wow. we're still gazing upon at least 3 1/2 feet in our parking lot, but the road is open... after about 60 + hours of plowing. come on dirt.
I cannot believe that Alasdair will be one, ONE, in less than a month. that it was a year ago that I was nesting: waking at 5 am to spray off the exterior of the house, take out the trash, complete journal entries, wash and arrange Alasdair's baby clothes for the fiftieth time. a year ago that I was walking and bouncing and yoga-ing it up in hopes of his arrival. a year ago this time that I didn't realize he would not be early, but in fact 15 days late.... a year ago that he tested my patience and made me realize that he will do things in his own time, regardless of my efforts to push him forward. and now he stands tall and walks quickly. he loves animals and books and balls. he has developed a self outside of me and papa, and he's quite good at expressing that. my wee man grown up.
not quite.
and as much as I try to live in the moments, in his moments, it is sometimes hard. so, thank you dana, for this great reminder....

my lovely sister forwarded this on to me this morning. it's worth a read:
Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author:

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I
take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two
taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same
books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their
opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh
until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who
want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the
bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by
themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber
ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely
discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once poured over is finished for me now.
Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling
rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, have all
grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they
are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the
pages dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and
what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations
--what they taught me, was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then
becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an
endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive
reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a
timeout. One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2. When my first child
was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would
not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put
down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a
new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing.
Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research
will follow. I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's
wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts
of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet
codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his
fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he
developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year
he went to China . Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He
can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes
were made. They have all been enshrined in the, "Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall
of Fame." The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not
theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late
for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The
day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her
geography test, and I responded, "What did you get wrong?". (She
insisted I include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through
speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They
all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for
the first two seasons. What was I thinking?
But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while
doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear
now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one
picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of
the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember
what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they
looked when they slept that night.

I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing:
dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the
getting it done a little less. Even today I'm not sure what worked and
what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small,
I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of
what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because
they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books
said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes
over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three
people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my
essential humanity. That's what the books never told me. I was bound and
determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure
out who the experts were.

sick with snow and short hair

2008-05-26T16:46:00.004-06:00

yes, it's still snowing up here. we're probably down to four feet on the ground, but I could definitely do for some sunny days--
I'm ready to walk outside in flip flops and tank tops rather than boots and hats. It's time. also time because: I'm sick, and I cut my hair. see photos:

upping the date

2008-05-12T21:46:00.001-06:00

today marked the beginning of a new schooling adventure for me. when I was a little girl, I remember wanting to become one of two things: a rancher, or a nurse (or possibly combine the two, which would have made me a veterinarian, I suppose). though I still have high hopes to live in the midst of meadows and horses, I've decided to pursue the nursing gig for now. honestly, the english degree isn't quite pulling through. it was fun and interesting, and I was definitely passionate about it----but.
but.
that's it. I have experience in reading and theory.
the U offers an "accelerated" program (for students who have already obtained a bachelors in a subject unrelated to nursing) that would allow me to complete school and get my BSN in 16 months. the catch: pre-requisites. biology. chemistry. math. blah. so, today began the pre-cycle.
it's exciting to be back in school.

today.... well, lately... highlighted some new feelings as of late: baby baby baby hunger, kind of. I'm happy to be alasdair's mother, and only alasdair's mother, for a while to come---at least another six months (until we consider pregnancy again), but I must admit that it is tempting. everyone I meet is pregnant or with a newborn. breck. steph. jamie. other people----
we'll hold out. I just had to say it, maybe because I'm amazed that I'm even thinking about it so soon. those first months were pretty rough... amnesia, how lovely.

alasdair is well and getting taller and taller, it seems. suddenly, just this week, his pants seem shorter. he's also looking into his friend's eyes instead of at their mouths. he's practically running, sleeping (a little) better, eating (mostly at night) like a madman, trying to swallow water in the bath and nearly throwing his back out with frustration when he can't dig in the fridge.
whip. he gets so upset. poor guy. the fridge is a party, I know.
we've been going to parents + tots yoga, which is hilarious. kids running around, alasdair donning over the new sweet 3-month old, ajna. good times.
he's into music and has begun to bend his knees and drop the booty in a dance stance when any tunes come on. and, of course, he's very much into morley. sweet thing.

ah... the update that always fails to update. it's what I have, for now.

... I forgot to mention: ben bought me (and alasdair) a super sweet piano keyboard for mother's day. not the full 88-key one, but the 76. soooooo nice. I'm stoked. I want to learn how to play piano again (and the boy can rock out in it, too). thanks, papa.

a video

2008-04-29T12:00:00.003-06:00

alasdair and his duck:

photo catch-up

2008-04-23T08:54:00.002-06:00

... here are some of alasdair's latest photos.
the boy and I on a walk in boise:

so busted. there were times when he had one in one hand, one in the mouth, and two in the other hand.

plant man.

side view.

now that eating is on... the mess is on, too. i love it.

post eating + mess, on his way to the bath... sooo stoked. he loves the bath.

ah, in the bath. what i love most: he sticks his tongue out to concentrate, just like papa. so cute.

the melt is on

2008-04-15T18:01:00.003-06:00

... and I can share (some things on) my plate with Alasdair. good times. he's definitely getting over the gaggy mcgaggerson affliction. it all started last week when he developed the 'michael jordon,' as Lucky so appropriately dubbed it. long tongue, fully exposed. I thought he had a sore in the back of his throat. an anxious mama, so I am. he was merely figuring his tongue out, and has since been able to eat, mush, swallow larger chunks of avocado, banana, sweet potato, cottage cheese---ah, it's lovely, and he's definitely enjoying it.
on another exciting bit: my mama, honey, entered the MTC yesterday. ben, alasdair and I will be able to see her on Saturday, p-day. alasdair and I went to boise for nearly two-and-a-half weeks. whip. that was a long time... a much enjoyed time, but a little too long to be away from papa.
AHHHH.... just remembered some other major news: alasdair is walking, steadily, quickly... it's crazy and frankenstein. little sweetie. he makes a funny grimace as he walks, too... the 'focus face.'
though I do have a lot more to share and say, it's time to prepare some dinner. so, I'll leave it at: to be continued...

gaggy mcgaggerson

2008-03-18T12:27:00.005-06:00

I would love to be able to share my plate with Alasdair. I've been eager to introduce him to foods since he was 4 months old... but we waited until about 5 1/2, and now, at nearly 9 months, the boy gags on nearly everything I offer (aside from avocado. yay for avocado). and on top of gagging, he often vomits, which makes me think he's choking and I begin to panic and wonder and look to Ben for the next move. it's terrifying. so, I question what to do... do I just continue to offer purees and some super soft strips of food that he can gum and attempt to feed himself? or do I cut out solids for a few days and try again as he gets older? does the gag reflex disappear with age, or with practice? it's all sometimes too confusing and scary and sad---but it's not in the cards to breastfeed forever.

aside from gagging, he has been standing up and bouncing. he is getting more and more stable, though I'm sure as soon as he starts to incorporate steps with the upright bit, the 'ol shakiness will make an appearance.

Ben's mama left this morning, bright and early. we were sad to see her go, as was Alasdair, I'm sure. he's generally a little shy and observant when first meeting people, but he must have remembered her because he took to her right away. talking, hugging, kissing--the whole bit. Jeri, Jason + kids were also at our place for three nights this past weekend. it is so nice to have family around. Stella and Alasdair had the best time, though I think she may have left a bit frightened... he doesn't yet know his strength. though all he wanted was a kiss, to her I'm sure it felt like a hammer to the face. sweet girl. those two were so sensitive to one another, too. if she cried, he cried and vice versa. even if he heard her crying in the other room, he cried. here they are, getting geared up for a snowshoe around the lake. I pulled out two similar hats for them to wear... it's hilarious, them looking at one another as if to say "what the hell do you have on your head?"

and, one for the camera:

they are so cute, I can hardly stand it.

ah, and a tid-bit I forgot to mention and am now inserting later: Alasdair's top four teeth have all popped through. Praise the teeth makers that be. poor mclennas had to endure a tough couple of days for the boy during their visit. he had fever, vomit, snotty nose, and he was droolicious, to be sure. fortunately I think his symptoms are dying down since they've all popped through.

bits

2008-03-12T11:03:00.006-06:00

I've been contemplating how to go about writing in this here blog. the problem be: it's been too long. We've been through so much in the past three weeks. From southern Utah to Pocatello to Alasdair's first step and four new teeth. Times have been busy, and I---admittedly---have been negligent. So, I've made the decision to "re-cap" in segments... broken pieces... bit by bit, if you will. And I will. so I hope you're with me.

the "thoughts on no particular matter" bit: sleep has been grim. I am a sleeper, or at least, used to be. Now, I dread sleep. Well, maybe it's not so much that I dread the actual act of sleeping, but the going to sleep bit. The hour spent prior to sleep is good. We play. Alasdair dons kisses upon kisses with bites in between, followed by lots of movement and moans and attempts to stay awake far past anyone's idea of a 'reasonable' bedtime for an 8 1/2 month old. At about that time, when the hour is past, I begin to dread the upcoming 8 hours. I know they will be full of wakeful minutes, possibly even hours, and it will never fail that at most points of wakefulness, my neck with ache. Oh, well. Alasdair is teething---I try not to complain. so, that's sleep. Not happening.
Other thoughts that frequent the track in my mind revolve around my love of this place, this life. It is very simple. We don't have much--then again, we don't need much. No one does, really. It was so easy to get caught up in the city. In whatever. Another $5 coffee, more toys, purchased art, too many clothes, gas guzzled on trips circling the city, an unnecessary car payment. Up here it's actually difficult to spend money. Online, yes... it's possible. But I've veered away from steep and cheap. thank goodness. The greatest perk: I've found that raising Alasdair up here has given me a fuller confidence in my parenting ability.

the "alasdair" bit: I couldn't be more in love. He is such a happy person. He's nearly walking, though I don't think it will happen for a couple more months, I do think he's capable if he chooses. He pulls up on everything and often lets go of everything, standing for anywhere from 5-15 seconds, then he slowly lowers down. We recently bought him a wooden "activity cube," which he loves to push around. Here he is:

His two bottom teeth are in and growing big. Right now he's working on the top four, two of which (the middle and one next to it) have popped through. Poor little guy. I can't imagine the pain. It's going to change his look so much. I have (yet to tell Ben that I've decided...) that Alasdair's first word is: dog. Every morning, searching for Morley, he says "daw-daw," and each time he sees him, the same. I really do think he's saying it, in his baby-style. It's been about three weeks now, so I'm dubbing it "official." And, of course, he loves loves loves to say "da-da-da-d-a-da" and on and on and on. No mama, soon, I hope. Ah, and food: he's finally showing a little bit of interest in it. Yesterday he actually picked up a slice of cantaloupe and put it in his mouth, rather than on the floor. Today he did the same---then gagged and threw up. Scary.

the "where have we been" bit: Southern Utah and Pocatello, baby. Good times. the south was so so warm and lovely and red-rocky; glorious. Ben had to attend an annual water treatment conference. Blah. It worked out for Alasdair and I, though--while Ben was in class we were able to roam Snow Canyon State Park, just outside of St. George. Beautiful sand beds and red rock, accented with green trees and animal tracks. Lovely. Ben was able to head out with us one day. Photos:

Do you think those are cat tracks? A dog of sorts? Domestic dogs weren't allowed in Snow Canyon, so I'm curious.

After our return from down south, Alasdair and I took off to Pocatello to visit one of my very best friends, Breck, and her 20-month-old daughter (and future love and/or best friend of Alasdair), Brynn. It was so much fun to see them play together.

Ah---Alasdair calls. I suppose this is why it sometimes takes me three weeks to write anything.. always fearing I'll get half-way and have to quit.
At least I got this far.

the road out

2008-02-20T17:56:00.002-07:00

a video of our trip from home to the car ... via snowmobile.

well, now it's getting ridiculous

2008-02-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

... maybe you should look down to today's previous post before looking at this one.
ben tried, really hard, to prove that alasdair looks more like him. he failed.

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family tree software - Free genealogy software

thank you, stephanie

2008-02-03T14:05:00.001-07:00

steph and dave cundick have a blogspot, too ... and she just posted the following (with their pictures, of course):
so, just giving her props for having shown me this.

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Ancestory - Free genealogy

I also tried to upload MOrley's photo... but they refused to detect his 'face.' Probably a good thing, as he's guaranteed to look more like me, too.

HONEY GOT HER CALL!

2008-02-01T18:20:00.000-07:00

about three months ago, my mama decided and announced that she wanted to serve an LDS mission, two months later her papers were in, and after the wait ... her call came, yesterday! She has been asked to serve in Charlotte, North Carolina for a period of 18 months. She heads to the MTC (mission training center) on the 14th of April. wow. so soon. I do have to say, that apprehensive bit I mentioned before ... it's fizzling. Previously, I really really wanted her to go foreign, but I've been experiencing a certain sense of excitement and relief that she'll be stateside. She will serve an "office" mission, which means there are soon to be lots and lots of lucky young missionaries. Well, everyone in Charlotte's about to get real lucky ... you instantly hit the jackpot when mama doherty is around. how I will miss her.

we're living like animals

2008-02-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

... in a cave.

our house, nearly buried by the ever dumping snow:

snowy slopes make for slippery ground.

2008-01-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

I'm fairly certain we're going to be digging a hole out here pretty soon. Snow upon snow upon snow, and surprisingly, I'm loving it. We're loving it. Shall we say: Ben is definitely loving the new snowmobile.
Each morning Alasdair wakes up, kindly tugs on my lip until I wake up, and once officially roused I open the curtains to see what the weather entails. Most days it's either snowing or gray. Today, it was blue. blue. blue, which called for a near leap out of bed to get things started. coffee. playtime. breakfast. gear up, and we went on a nice ski + snowshoe (I'm still adjusting to the skiing bit and fear for Alasdair's well-being while on my chest, so I walked). Beautiful, so it was. After Ben and I walked around the lake, Alasdair and I continued on a circle up by the water shed.
The recent snow has been pretty dense, so the walking bit isn't too terribly difficult... just right, in fact. I love where I live. I love that I walk outside and suddenly I have the opportunity to ski or snowshoe however far I'd like ... while witnessing some of the most beautiful scenery in the Northwest (I think). And, there's silence. There we stood, surrounded by untouched, glistening snow, in silence. Aside from Morley's whimpers. No snowmobiles. No cars. Ni horns. Nay voices. It was lovely.
This life is lovely, I'll say.
To top it all off... throw Alasdair into the mix. The sweetest thing, ever. Here are a few photos from last night. He and Morley play really well together. Thank you, Morley. dats a ogoogogGGoOOod boy.

so, yes, life is grand. My mama should be getting her call any day now, and--I'll admit--I'm getting increasingly apprehensive. I am, however, psyched that she's going. Very, very psyched.

he's on the move.

2008-01-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

alasdair practically blazes around the place now. scary. and, of course, he's loving cords and all things potentially hazardous. a few of his favorite poses: downward dog and the standing bit ...

we recently returned from a five-day trip to vegas where we met up with the ladies from my mother's side of the family. aunts, great aunts, cousins and beyond ... good times. my great aunt gladys, who is 92 and in better shape than most 70-year-olds, lives in vegas. she is my grandmother's younger sister. I was also able to meet my great aunt kat, gladys' baby sister. a photo:

while in vegas we shopped and walked and ate ... and, eventually, got sick. too smoky. way too smoky. I think alasdair enjoyed the pace and the people--they sure liked him. Nearly every person we passed stopped me to say hi to the baby, ask his age, converse with him through smiles and coos. he was a hit. and he was such a pleasure to have on the trip. he just cruised around in the pack, slept when he was tired, and observed the lights and sights while awake. he would squawk at people walking by---very sweet.
here he is being lulled to sleep by a sweet accordion player:

back at home it is still snowing. today we're supposed to get a couple of feet. excellent. especially excellent because we finally got a new ride ...

... which was much needed. we were down to one snowmobile, and not a super great one at that. life is great around here.

bottom two

2008-01-16T11:32:00.001-07:00

I've taken photos upon photos of alasdair's teeth ... trying to shoot one where you can actually see them. here's the best shot, so far:

brief

2008-01-15T10:55:00.001-07:00

I take photos of the mountains, lakes, roads, specs of snow, views, trees and footprints around our home as if I am taking photos of my first child. it seems like every time I head outside I'm entering into a new world of beauty, and I just start snapping away. here is a view of the lake, and here's what I see when I turn around. Ah, but how about this angle? and so on. and on. and on. ben and I walked to the car and I'm fairly certain I photographed every 50 feet of our walk. needless to say, this place is exceptional.
ben received his tele boots in the mail yesterday. good day. we're nearly set. I hope to get mine today. ben's in town now to check on it.
hmmm. not much to say today. it's snowing. not exactly new..news.
alasdair's newest position: downward dog. maybe I said that in the last post, but here I'll say it again because he loves it so. it's quite adorable.

the day of the great dig(yourself)out

2008-01-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

... as ben dubbed it. well, I added the 'yourself' bit.
many cars went untouched this weekend. gathered together in a lot at the base of the wasatch backside. huddled, cold, buried---until today. that monster storm dropped about 4 feet of snow on us, and (for one night) nearly blew our place down with 114 mph winds. whip. so, ben, alasdair and I walked out. too much snow to deal with (in terms of using the snowmobile), and far, far too beautiful of a day to pass by any piece of ground/sky/views at any speed faster than placing one foot in front of the other. it was blue-bird. it's only a little over 3/4 mile to the car, a walk which is mostly downhill---until you decide it's time to come home.
so, today was spent walking, driving a bit, buying the growing boy some new clothes, and watching (still) the lsu/ohio game (which is not so much a game ... lsu is smoking them. excellent.) a good day.
company recently left. I feel fulfilled and a bit empty all at once. each morning, for the past few days, I wake up and proceed with my usual routine (greet the boy, change the dipe, smile and talk, prepare coffee, music ... ), then around 10:30 I start the whole 'looking out the window' business. looking. looking. looking and waiting for someone to come walking up the hill from the lodge. walking up to greet me and help with breakfast, books, what have you. but no one walks up. Gosh, I miss my family already and they just left.
alasdair and I are going to vegas. vegas, baby, vegas... on the 18th. we're going with honey (my mom), dana and a load of other female relatives. great aunts, aunts, distant cousins .. all of whom I've never met. well, most of them. I'm psyched. a reunion, of sorts. a gathering. though we won't be huddled, in the cold, buried in snow.
I expect we'll be parted, warm and swarming.
alasdair. ah, sweet boy. he is growing, growing and has even produced TWO teeth. simultaneously. the bottom two: on 12-30-2007. mark it.
they're still growing up, but at least they've popped through. poor boy. the pain, of which I cannot recall.
he is also all too close to crawling. he rocks and lunges and sometimes spurts out frustrating yelps. most of the time he's in a downward dog position...pushing off with his toes, face-planted, attempted to move forward. soon, though I can wait. once he is completely mobile I know I'll find myself forever mobile, too.
Ah, speaking of the boy: he cries.
and, to bed--again.
he's really taken to the pack. nearly as soon as he's in his snowsuit and in the pack, he's asleep. though I think he likes snowshoeing--the rhythm--as opposed to loud snowmobile rides.
other holiday rambling bits: ben + I skied. yay. ben rocks the downhill bit. as for me, I'll just say that I tend to prefer the flat and uphill variety. downhill's alright, so far as there are skins on the bottom of my skis, please.
me not so good at the speedy bit.
it's fun though. so much that we're looking to invest in boots, skis and skins. for now and future. lots of fresh, powdery snow to be had around these parts----and we mustn't miss out.
there's an update, in brief. ah, and the photo bit.
look right: under the photo of the boy. see: flickr. click and tour. I think it's best to view by "set." whatever works, though. there were far too many photos to post here.
here's one from today---to entice you, as I hope it will:

a video ... to begin

2007-12-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

taken this morning of stella + alasdair:
(photos + stories of the holiday times to come)

nature's in our living room

2007-12-22T22:20:00.001-07:00

thank you, tree, for being in our home, for sacrificing your life for our lights and for filling our air with your scent. ben went out and found the perfect tree this evening. photos of pre-decorating, and post:

perty.

on the road ...

2007-12-18T16:58:00.000-07:00

... not alasdair's favorite place to be. ben, alasdair, morley and i made a quick trip to boise last weekend. ben's mama + mark were in town from far, far yonder near the southeast side of things, so we just had to get back home (is it home?) to see them. while there we were also able to visit with marci, george + miriam, alasdair's adopted grandparents, and great-grandma-ma. photos:
the boy + grandma marci:

below, the boy + the riddle clan, plus sweet ben:

and, photos of alasdair and his cousin, stella + grandma:

a + stella:

a, stella + grandma:

and, papa holding back an eager alasdair (he wanted to kiss, kiss, grab, poke and kiss sweet stella so badly):

happenings at home

2007-12-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

I've been posting lots of photos. good work. now I need to post some words. 'going ons' around the mclenna household: miren + luke + brandon arrived last friday. m + l left sunday, brandon will take the greyhound home tomorrow. his first bus ride. slc to boise via the greyhound makes for a long trip. seems people just have to stop for those smoke breaks ...
it's been a delight to have friends here. friday we celebrated miren and luke's trip to thailand (they leave in a week) with a thai soup. my dad recently gave me a killer recipe. one of which i dream of in my sleep. nearly. saturday we had intentions of lunch in park city with lorrine + others, but the snow was crazy. it dumped 36 inches on friday night and didn't slow down throughout the whole day on saturday. it was beautiful. is beautiful. getting the snowmobiles out and down to the car was quite the affair. I'm so happy we had people here to help ben out. on saturday we did realize that we don't have a sled. bad, bad, bad deal. we'll have to make something with the old snowmobile skis downstairs. now the sun is shining. the snow glistening. and I think it's about time for some outside time. to watch morley in the snow is a treat. if he's breaking trail, he disappears for a moment---then his head pops out again.
lots of snow.
other happenings in alasdair's world: I think he's working on teeth. he's been a little ornery the past few days. I don't blame him. experiencing the pain of a sharp bit busting through layers must be a terribly painful affair. we have offered him more banana. he plays with it. attempts to pull it to his mouth, though most times it becomes morley's treat on the floor. alasdair is talking more and more. playing games with ben. hide and seek seems to be his particular favorite at the moment. he's taught himself to place a rag over his head, then pull down---he's learned that upon doing that he receives oohs and excitement from his audience. he's also elongating. his hair is growing. he is growing, in general. ah, and he's loving morley. very interested in tugging on his nose and ears. not so interested in morley's licks, however.
so, our house is doing well. inhabitants of this house are doing well. we're hoping to make a trip to boise next weekend, weather permitting. ben's mom + mark will be in town. we'll do what we have to in order to get there.
then, my mama + sister + family arrive in a week and a half for the holidays.
very exciting, good times.
I'll attempt to update this here blog in a more exciting, inviting fashion.

i asked for it

2007-12-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

the snow, that is.

my snow, man

2007-12-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

just got back from town. sweet, snowy papa.

the homemade bit

2007-12-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

we are finally experiencing snow in the mountains.
the snow that dumps uninhibitedly. is that a word? the snow that doesn't have much concern for your need to get places. more important is its need to fall and blanket your surroundings. beautiful, beautiful snow.
while it's snowing, alasdair and i stay indoors. for now, at least. we need snowshoes. then, we'll walk in it. on it. with it. and such.
so, while inside---as previously mentioned---we sew.
here are yesterday's creations: an apron for mama and pants (from scraps of ben's pants that he cut into shorts) for the boy.

cloth dipes, good looks

2007-12-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

traditions are born of habit, so it seems.
a few new bits for us: we give alasdair a bath every night (water only, mind, just feels good), read to him each night, cuddle and play in the morning, then head out to the kitchen/living/dining/computer/library room (yes, it's all-in-one) to prepare coffee and breakfast. it's a daily routine, really, but tradition too--kind of.
more than that, on sunday we listen to a particular cd: the mission soundtrack. i find myself itching to listen to it throughout the week, in the evenings, upon waking up----but i do not, for it is now dubbed our sunday cd, and we only listen to it on sunday. every sunday. when i travel, i will bring it.
alasdair got some fuzzy mail. ah yes, cloth diapers. the goods. it's becoming an obsession... this cloth diapering business. he has little g dipes, but they don't rock like the bum genius and fuzzi bunz. here's the little man in the fuzzi bunz (hanging to his knees):

we've also been sewing. well, we: i sew, alasdair is my inspiration. sewing: babylegs. faux babylegs, i should say. he's my little 80s-inspired child.

they serve a double purpose, too ... they're also arm warmers for me (just need to cut thumb holes).

the daily update. there it was.

it's snowing, finally

2007-12-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

... and we're getting dumped on.
hooray. hoopla. this is great. ben is out on snowmobile, working with some other gracious mountain man to move the truck down.
it's nutty snow up here, though word is Salt Lake has even accumlated 8 inches. we have feet, and love it.
alasdair isn't such a huge fan of the snowmobile, not yet at least.
In celebration of snow, I decided to post our recent (and final) walks on dry land.

ben + the boy:

red, the silly cat, can be seen following us. on the way home he cried and cried. poor guy didn't realize it would be a long, circular walk. i think his lazy body would have stayed home.

alasdair, sweet little man, bundled:

and, the boy, swinging. ON HIS OWN, no less:

from here on out, we will be on snowmobile.
yippy.
i'll admit: i'm a little scared.

photos to tell the story

2007-12-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

i know, i know ... I've been terrible at updating this site.
So, here are photos because I know that's what any viewer wants to see.
Ben's papa, Jeri, Jason + kids were here just before Thanksgiving.
Good times.
I'll write a bit ...in a bit.

Now a few shots of the boy getting WAY too big.
He sits in his faux highchair and thrashes a sippy cup about.
and check him out... the boy wants food.

come on ....

2007-11-11T12:44:00.001-07:00

my boys:

seriously. i am the luckiest lady.

aging

2007-11-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

it is sunday. alasdair is no longer reveling in his 'teen' weeks, he is officially 20 weeks old. wild. his update: he stays awake--A LOT--, rolls over back to belly to back (though only in one direction ... he turns to the right, and he's fast, fast), he kisses and kisses, in the bath last night he launched forward from sitting position and made crawling movements, he stands (with support) quite well, he grabs and pulls and eats on everything in site.
he is a monkey, indeed. sweet thing.
as for ben and i, we are nestling in. well, nestled in. mama--honey--is visiting right now. i'm a fortunate daughter to have my mama visit so much. we love it. alasdair thrives on it.
the hiking season is about to transfer to snowshoeing/ski season, so we're taking advantage of walks without full body down coverage.

beautiful views:

alasdair as a bear

2007-11-01T13:28:00.001-06:00

folks in park city came out of the woodwork yesterday to celebrate halloween. main street was packed with mini humans, masqueraded adults and mostly dogs. tons of dogs decked out in their finest, like this one here:
what a dapper little fellow. didn't mind the get-up at all, either.
we partook, slightly, in the affair by clothing alasdair in a bear suit (thank you, jen) and i attempted to rock the new hair with a little cleopatra-ish eye styling, which didn't work so well.

gosh. sorry about my fat head interfering with alasdair's sweet face.
yes, that is how we celebrated.
and there i was, only recently talking of hanging my head because the celebration had ended.
shame on me.

the roll

2007-10-31T12:40:00.001-06:00

alasdair wasn't too stoked on my report that he hadn't yet rolled from belly to back, so he did.
four times. and continues to do so. 10.31.07. mark it. a milestone.

it's halloween

2007-10-31T10:49:00.000-06:00

i hang my head as our celebratory week has ended.
it was ben's birthday, our one-year anniversary and my birthday, all in a week's time.
but now, sadly sighing, i have nothing left to celebrate aside from my beautiful life, my loving men, my tasty pancake breakfasts, morley oh boy, the fact that mama is coming to visit soon---then shortly thereafter, miss jeri + jason + david + kids .....
ok.
so, to be honest, the celebrations in this household never end.
i caught alasdair looking ever so dapper, as he often does, in his overalls the other day. see here:

gosh. he's suddenly 4 months old. i think he's teething, which makes life rather unpleasant in the evening --- poor guy. he's taken to rolling from his back to his stomach, skipping over the belly to back bit.
he likes to mix it up i suppose.
AR (auntie rye) came down to visit. sweet sweet rye. she treated me to a spa day for my birthday. geeze. generosity at it's finest. the major change: hair. i've needed a drastic change. the boy was pulling out handfulls of hair each day.
anyway, i decided to go cleo. kind of.
what the?
no, it's not a wig.
yes, just in time for halloween.
today we will go down to main street in park city in hopes of seeing some cute kids dressed for the occasion. we hear it's a good time at least.
well, that's our update, for now.

happy birthday to papa.

2007-10-22T17:59:00.000-06:00

today is ben's birthday. it was a happy day. tasty breakfast, some new (and much needed) polarized shades, lunch at the pub in park city, a short snowmobile ride (to post signs)--and now it's down to pizza and cake. ah, yes. celebration.

alasdair was talking, talking to his sun.
then decided to speak ever so sweetly into its, um, arm---
and fell asleep.

i went dark(er).
papa went cool(er).

one of my very best friends came to visit last weekend, breck. she and her daughter, brynn, spent friday and saturday night with us. we reminisced of logan days, coffeeshop-working-days. now mothers. how wild.
brynn is 16 months. i joke about their wedding day. ah---just look how mesmerized he is.
loving a lady already.

good times.

alas, dair to be with the ladies

2007-10-18T20:57:00.000-06:00

the resolution/quality is super low because i had to compress it so much.
you certainly can still hear his sweet coos and laughs though.
taken at my mamas, featuring honey, birdie (aunt dana), etta (cousin) and ar (auntie rye). ah, and himself.

snornges, and sleep

2007-10-18T17:02:00.000-06:00

excellent. this is how one drives in utah.
this morning we moved the subaru down the hill (in case--we're not too sure what we're in for), then loaded up in the flat-bed truck to get back. snowmobiles will be ready for pick-up tomorrow. there are already tracks around the area---
trespasser's tracks.

alasdair and the orange.
"come on mom, just one bite?"
mean mama says no.

my favorite photo to date, possibly.
alasdair, papa and i spent an hour trying to move the gator + gator trailer down to the lodge. it took pushing, reversing, flooring, and more. alasdair fell asleep in his ergo right away and slept for about an hour and a half. we were 3/4 the way successful in our attempt to get the gator down to the lodge. it sits in the snow nearby.
alasdair slept through the noise. through me shoveling, vigorously. through walks and snow throwing at morley. he slept through it all, and continued to sleep when i took off the ergo and laid him on the bed.
sweet thing.

we had a good first snow day.

coming home

2007-10-17T11:22:00.001-06:00

The snow is coming. We woke this morning with a few inches. It's not supposed to stop until Friday, if then. We're settling into more of a routine--a routine that contradicts the nature of schedules, really. A routine that allows for flexibility, morning fires and playtime anytime of the day.
Ah, Ben just notified me with a weather update: snow until Sunday, with Friday being a chance of rain.
Alasdair and I went to Boise last week for a visit. Drove the car in hopes that mama can sell it. Flew home. Alasdair's first flight, and a fierce flyer he was. No crying. Lots of nursing. A little bit of play. Good man.
I left Boise feeling happy to be where we are now. I miss my family, I miss what friends I have---but this place, this isolated existence, is pretty heavenly. And, for once, I am in a place that feels like home.

videos worth viewing

2007-10-04T15:17:00.001-06:00

I made a pretty fantastic discovery today: yo gabba gabba, a show for people.

A particularly good one.

A particularly mellow one.

A particularly trippy one.

toys

2007-10-04T09:42:00.000-06:00

word is, children love to bounce. alasdair lives for it. so, we took a trip to the big city the other day and made an investment: we bought the boy a rainforest jumperoo.
sweet thing. maybe a bit small for it yet.

there it was bare.
now, check it out all set up.

good times. to be had. we hope.
now for the real good stuff: mama and papa's toy ... a new bb gun.
late nights, early mornings, mid afternoons.
every time is a good time for sitting on the porch, shooting at cans. we enjoyed such a snowy night---target practice.

we thought it was funny.

and now...
the boy in his newest onesie (thank you tyler).
sweet little man.

tradition

2007-10-03T10:09:00.000-06:00

I want to start traditions and set goals and envision all of this coming to fruition within the year.
Thing is, I don't think traditions are necessarily discussed, or scheduled. Traditions become weekly, monthly, annual events because our lives fall into a place that welcomes good memories, paving way to build upon what we've already established.
Maybe I can't 'start' traditions after all. Bummer. See--thinking about it too much gets in the way. Were I to just do 'it,' 'it' would be done and may--if duly enjoyed--become tradition.
I talk about things too much, even if only in my head.
I think: I want to start a tradition. hmmm...tradition? What to do? We could mark the first day of each month and make sure we have a picnic lunch. maybe we should designate each october 2 as a day of rest, no chores--we play and rest today. maybe i could go outside and pick out a rock and dub it as 'special'---just because, and we could establish a tradition of picking out rocks to be dubbed as such.
no. traditions, or even 'special' rocks, don't come that easy. they create themselves and cannot be birthed outside of their own development. and in order for them to develop, one must be doing and observing, and most of all--enjoying. everything.
eventually something spectacular will have developed enough to be born and forever attached to our ways of living.
and that birthed beauty will become tradition.
ok, then.

first day of snow

2007-09-24T11:10:00.000-06:00

below i posted the first of the 'first day of snow' posts.
here is the second, featuring photos that uncle seth took on his walk.
compare the porch one in this post with the porch in the last post---already accumulating.
very nice.
it's hard to capture how much is coming down.

white morning

2007-09-24T10:42:00.000-06:00

well, it's a lot whiter right now. it's dumping snow. blizzard style. and we love it. poor uncle seth is walking around the lake trying to take photos.
i'll post what he captures.
for now, here are a few of alasdair and his buddy--gatsby, the boy+papa, snow accumulation this morning and the sweet squirrel---one of many new friends who feast on extras we put out the window and into the bird feeder.
HAPPY 3 MONTHS to the boy.

lazy day

2007-09-23T09:27:00.001-06:00

it's sunday morning. ben, sweet man, is cooking up some tasty breakfast for honey, alasdair and i. coffee in hand, and four open windows looking out to trees clothed in their new fall colors and SNOW! not a lot, but flurries.
it's beautiful.
uncle seth arrives today to take honey home tomorrow. bittersweet---i can't wait for seth to get here, but his arrival signifies honey's departure. i'm torn.
last weekend aara came up to visit for the night and we celebrated with our first candlelight dinner.
alasdair is loving his bumbo, new pajamas and many hikes.
the snow is picking up. yessssss.
morley, oh borals boy, loves the mountain life, too.
check him out---glowing in the sunlight. good boy.

my boys

2007-09-20T18:24:00.000-06:00

WHAT? are you kidding me?
yes, these are my boys, my men, my loves.
mmmm.
oh so sweet.

back in time

2007-09-14T15:38:00.000-06:00

in the beginning, i said this 'blog' would be an image-based one.
indeed, that it has become.
so, here's to more photos. photos taken prior to our boise departure. photos of alasdair and his cousins: stella and asa and etta, and the first love of his life: miss honey--my beautiful mama.
the boy misses his boise people. i know this because he tells me so.

activity

2007-09-12T12:08:00.001-06:00

Alasdair keeps me active--not that it's a difficult task around here. We try to hike daily, and each day we find a new route, and a new lake. That's been the case so far, at least. There will come a day when we simply choose the 'best' route, but for now we still have the luxury of exploring new areas everyday.
Stove update: we got a new one. Celebrate. Ben found their home in the old one, along with a toasty little mouse. sick. the new one is plush, white, and mouse-free, for now.
there are traps set behind it: we've already downed 8 of the little guys. poor guys. grow up though, seriously--figure out a different area to hang out in.
i'm not too talkative. just got back from a hike and thought i'd write that much. i plan to jump into the lake today.
whip.
it will be cold.

get it straight

2007-09-10T21:48:00.000-06:00

horizontal that is.
geeze. what's my deal with this posting business? i can't even manage to post photos in the proper direction.
frustrating.
anyway, as they are:
(mostly alasdair)
*himself showing off his booty gear, graciously handed down to us from his cousin, Asa.
*he and i returning from a little hike--his first riding in the mei tai.
*a closeup of the boy in the mei tai. and do not fret, we saved the other sock.
*the bathroom mirror, chatting it up with his best friend, himself.
*smiley monkey blanketed in the bouncer. good times.
*his wide-eyed stare. that's when he's really pretty amazed by something. like the times i press my lips together and make that boat(ish) sound. he likes that.
*he in his new pimpy ride, the radio flyer, in the sun. bad mama.
*mama + the boy, outside our front door. it's what we see when we open it up. wow.
*papa's new pimpy ride: the gator.
so, there: photos.
lots.

alasdair

2007-09-09T16:36:00.000-06:00

um ... sideways.
didn't mean to.

posting gig

2007-09-09T16:28:00.000-06:00

here's the deal: i can't seem to figure out the whole post a photo + corresponding verbage ... then do it again down a few paragraphs. no. i upload a photo, write a bit to go along with it, then post another ... and each time it gets all screwed up. photos of moose sided by a paragraph about my mom's visit. no. those don't go together. honey's visit goes with photos of honey, not moose. seeing as i can't get that to work (no time to figure it out, and extremely slow internet), expect a photo post.
words to follow.
then, in lovely fashion, readers--if any--can read and scroll down to the corresponding photo.
hmm.
pointless paragraph there---surely you will figure all of that out on your own.
now. to post photos, which takes a veryyyryyr VeRRry long time.

photos, moose and mice

2007-09-03T21:43:00.001-06:00

alasdair, last friday morning before the boise departure. too cute.

photos, finally. we saw four moose while sitting on the front porch today. amazing. there's a male and a female.

the new home. i know there are other photos of the house, but this is the first actually taken by me. and that feels good.

though---that lovely house there smells of mice shit. yes, shit. a derogatory word, i know, but i must use it for emphasis. it appears that mice have been living in the stove. not inside the oven bit, but where the clock and dials are. sick. we turned on the oven to cook up some grub yesterday and there was a nasty odor. we thought maybe it had been cleaned and needed one more 'airing out.'

tried again today. no. bad. bad. so, ben inspected and found a mouse (alive ... he came running outside where morley, red, alasdair and myself were hanging out and grabbed red to chase it down). he also found loads of his loads. sick, again. anyway---he cleaned and cleaned. scared the mouse away. cleaned more. turned on the oven to cook it away. now, five hours later and a container of incense, the house still smells. oh well. ben says it's a small price to pay for life in paradise.

we sat on the porch again tonight and heard coyotes yipping, an owl and branches breaking nearby---the moose again, we think. indeed, it is a beautiful life.

this is life

2007-09-02T21:06:00.000-06:00

sunday, alasdair's ten-week-old birthday and our second morning waking up in this beautiful place. we arrived friday afternoon around 3. busy day. ben and morley drove down in a 17-foot u-haul towing the forester, both packed from floor to ceiling. the outback, carrying my mom, alasdair, red (the cat) and myself, was also packed full.
red cried until ogden, when his cries started to slowly drown out.
alasdair slept, praise all who be---and had a ridiculously pleasant trip aside from one red-faced crying episode. that's a long drive for a little baby.
so, we arrived at 3 and by ten that night everything was unloaded, and nearly a third of the boxes were unpacked.
thank you mother. seriously, it was all miss honey.
waking up to feed alasdair in the night, we heard mice, rats---possibly possums---in the kitchen. i imagined entire packs of animals rooting through 'their' new supply of goods. checking out what the new folks brought in from the big city. they clanked glasses and then scurried across the wooden floors. i was scared to walk down the hall to the bathroom. (though i was scared to walk five feet to the bathroom in my old, small, enclosed house, too.)
yesterday we bought three plug-ins that emit a high-pitched frequency that is supposed to keep mice, spiders and cockroaches away (without harming the dog + cat). soon after we plugged them in, red began chasing a little mouse through the house. into alasdair's room. bite, bite, release. run. chase. dodge. ben got involved, attempting to trap the little guy. things got hairy. ben was jumping around. he caught him in the end and proceeded to carry red with him during each trip down the hall for the rest of the night. his protector. red. ha.
this morning i noticed the rug had been pulled up in all the running around. indicative of just how much running around they were doing.

i must say this: we are making every attempt to be kind and understanding of all the spiders, mice and other crawlers that we see around the house. it's cold outside, kind of, i would want indoors too. anyway, we try not to kill them. say hi and walk away. it's their space too, i suppose.

ben and morley nearly ran into a moose yesterday. ben took the morley boy down to the lake for a swim. he said he threw the ball and suddenly a big moose came tearing down the hill and proceeded to get a drink only about 200 feet away from them. fortunately morley didn't bark, nor did he chase the moose, which i thought a dog like him might try to do---dopey morley, all he wants is a buddy, and who knows, maybe a moose looks like a big dopey dog to morley ol boy.
a moose. they saw one on our second day here. that's the point.

alasdair is loving the place. the trees. the breeze. he and i took a ride on the gator today. he just chilled on my lap while we climbed up the rocky road, around corners and to the top of a small hill nearby. our new, pimpy ride---good thing for john deere.
i think alasdair loves it so much that he doesn't even want to sleep. he fights and fights come bedtime. as he is doing right this minute. tense body, eyes heavy, wrapped up all snug as i wish i were right now. i could sleep.
most definitely.

ah---and he experienced his first ever thunderstorm today. a first for all of us up here. it came down--hard. lightening. thunder. rain. rain. rain. i took him outside. we walked back and forth on the porch while watching the rain. he was silent. just watching, listening. i think he enjoyed it.

tonight ben prepared dinner. fettucine. yum. salad. he's an amazing cook. the kitchen is nearly put together. as is the rest of the house. we work fast.

yes, so begin our days here. fascinating how it seems we spend a good portion of our lives figuring out ways to slow down when all we really need to do is go outside. sit. and imagine you live in a place where going downtown, or on a coffee run, or shopping aren't an option. we spend so many of our days trying to speed up time to get to that 'wasteful day, ' in which we can just sit and feel good about it.
one should always feel good about sitting for at least 30 minutes.
sit and breathe.

i'm learning how to do that again.

reminiscent

2007-08-21T12:20:00.000-06:00

maybe the hokey pokey is what it's all about.
a thought.

i'll miss boise, a lot. it began to set in this morning while alasdair and i were hanging out. i thought about my mom and how frequently we get together---we see her almost daily. it made me sad to think that the phone--and silly internet things like this--will be our most immediate form of contact, rather than driving ten minutes to see her in person to watch her facial inflections when she sees, touches and holds alasdair. to hear her laugh from the other room. i'll miss my mama, maybe too much.
if that's possible.

i put up another photo of our new home, with snow this time. the job? caretaking for the girl scouts on a 26-acre piece of land in the wasatch, just northeast of park city. snowmobile in. make lots of soup. bust out sewing supplies. read lots of books. write on this here blog thing. swim in the lake just below when it's thawed. enjoy winter sports: snowshoeing, skiing, hiking. enjoy the quiet--what's left of it. watch the boy grow up.

celebratory photos

2007-08-20T20:40:00.000-06:00

WE GOT THE JOB. well, ben got the job. we're moving to utah. photos were taken today. celebration time. the photo of the house---that will be home. ahhh.

first time(s)

2007-08-16T17:32:00.001-06:00

photos of alasdair's first time sporting some fancy fleece pants, his first trip outside of boise (went to stanley for a couple of nights), first nights in a cabin (thanks to a buddy who offered up a cabin in place of the tent we had stashed in the car) and his first hike near redfish. ah, the firsts. all of which took place a week and a half ago.

long one

2007-08-13T21:16:00.000-06:00

day, that is. I love eventful days---
especially because it stops me from counting down the hours until ben's return from 8 days away at work. he gets home on wednesday.
two more nights alone. yessssss. then, hopefully, we'll be heading to Utah. I'm hesitant to write anything about the prospect of moving only because I don't want to build up the hype in the case we're devastatingly deflated.
but when I start to have those thoughts, I combat them with optimism and convince myself that, indeed, the more people I tell--the more likely it is that good vibes will be sent through the universe, and therefore the more likely it is that we will get the job and end up living in Utah's mountainous landscape.
so, the deal: we might move to utah, come next week.
alright, I said it---and that's all I will say.

I started out with: long one.
day. my day was long. well, it passed quickly---
what I suppose I mean is: my day was full of events. a long walk with mama and the boy this morning. coffee and talks with jeri. lunch and talks with hope. meandering around the baby store and others while alasdair checked out the colors and gawked at folks passing by. back to my homestead where I fed the cat, Red--hungry beast--, and picked up some goods. back to me mama's where I fed myself + alasdair + dogs, hung out with the boy outside for a while, put him to sleep, bathed--
and, now, here I sit typing.
when I, too, should be sleeping. because when it comes down to it, this blog business is really a journal.
to think, my personal journal--what would be--exposed to the world.
what in the hell am i thinking?
how odd of me. if not to post all of alasdair's doings and growth and such, then what? I guess later this here 'blog' will be full of photos, mainly.

right now it just feels like my blah thoughts spewed onto the keyboard and somehow filtered onto what is a bright, buzzing screen.
and through to you, whoever might read this.
weird.
ah--the photos:
tis me and my favorite, ben.
and me and my boy, the bull.
good night.

broken

2007-08-12T12:50:00.000-06:00

alasdair and I have been meeting with a cranial sacral therapist to help out with his poor latch. at our last meeting I asked about his tense body---the boy shoots his legs straight down and stiffens his entire core when he's nervous, upset ... sometimes I'm not sure why he does it. anyway, it makes for difficult changing sessions, impossible sling carrying and often awkward burping positions.
her response was interesting, and--after considering alasdair's new environment--quite obvious.
to go from a warm, confined space to an open environment is startling, and probably scary.
so, when he wakes up from a nap and appears to have had a nightmare and cries and tenses up, he's probably wondering what the hell is going on---where's my automatic food source? where's the warm fluid? cushy side-rails?
the therapist said he still considers us 'one'---and will continue to think of himself as being a part of one whole until he begins to roll over.
when a child rolls over, and over and over, and suddenly finds himself distanced from his mother, he begins to recognize that they (he and mom) are really two separate parts.
she said they'll often cry when they first begin to roll over and see you far away because they think they're broken.
geeze.
kind of sad.
anyway, I have to remind myself that he's in this new space--and how terrifying it must be sometimes.
I have to remind myself of that because mothering is difficult, and it takes a patient being to raise a child---
a loved, loving child.

I did it

2007-08-09T14:32:00.000-06:00

not sure if it's because i'm a mom now--but I did it, I've succumbed to the blog. it's in honor of alasdair, to be sure. so, here's a bit about the little man:
alasdair jonas mclenna, born june 24, 2007 at 4:45 in the a.m.
he enjoyed the womb so much he stayed an extra 15 days, which made for a long wait.
upon arrival he was 7 lbs. 14 oz. and 22 inches long
he is now 12 lbs. 9 oz. and growing steadily at almost 7 weeks.
he likes bumpy evening and early morning walks, the music of will oldham & bill callahan, plenty of milk and nestling, and his papa's soothing smile.
we've not yet discovered anything that he simply cannot stand.
after all, he's a baby---and he finds bliss in the exploration of the size, shape and composure of anything, and everything.

that's him on the right there---
warming up after his first bath at a week old.
water child.